I'd tell you about this, but first I have to ask the boys to leave the room.

Any post-adolescent woman would recognize the "Now You Are a Woman" pamphlet that's generally given to pre-adolescent girls. I have no idea what the drill is now, but back in the 70s, they were distributed just after the boys left the classroom to be kept busy with talk of football and jockstraps or something... and before the companion "Now You Are A Woman" hygiene film. Sponsored, of course, by Kotex or J&J or someone else who makes the products that girls hope to God they'll be able to buy when anyone but the cute boy they know is working behind the drugstore register.

Two girls grew up in our household, so I wouldn't have been surprised to find one of those 70's era booklets in the parental clutter. This 40's era version threw me for a loop.

Boys, while the girls stroll down memory lane, maybe you can go to the other room and talk about baseball or power saws or whether Schlitz or Rheingold would have made a worse hangover.

No? Continue at your own risk. Here are some of the highlights, courtesy of our friends at International Cellucotton Products Co. in 1943. Do you see any other agendas afoot here?

• "You should take special care about your personal daintiness at this particular time."
• Cold baths are verboten!
• Apparently back in the 40s, "Grandma came to visit," at "that time of the month," not "Aunt Flo." (You can only imagine the confusion that could arise if Grandma actually did come to visit.)
• Boys know. "They don't think it's peculiar. It's a perfectly rational life process that they respect highly." So when they say they'll respect you in the morning... it's actually that which they respect???
• "Don't get your feet wet!" Definitely not in a cold bath!
• "Tennis, basketball and other strenuous sports should be postponed." This, of course, explains all of those commercials where girls are riding horses and doing gymnastics. Must be some sort of new product that gives them all that 'freedom.'
• Kotex Fibs tampons are highly recommended. *yes, you read that right. Fibs. Because nothing says "Grandma came to visit" like a tampon named for a little white lie.*
• Kurb Tablets reduce periodic pain!